In The Thick Of It - The Chrysalis Effect

2013 seems like it’s been a tough year for so many people.  Last year I was told countless times by people in many different spiritual communities that I needed to get really well before 2013 because if I don’t my life would be very challenging.  I get it now, and I feel it in full force.  My year began with countless colds and the flu. Last month after a painful GuaSha treatment, Fibromyalgia flooded my body.  And the 30 year old malformation in my right foot has suddenly shifted and required immediate surgery.  

And it’s not just body pain I’ve been experiencing, my mind has been full of unease as well.  

Last week I felt the need to cry and cry...like I had to just “get it out.” Moments of anxiety have been creeping in.  I was completely unaware I was feeling this until one day I realized I was holding tension in my chest and shoulders. Other times I find myself holding my breath.  This is not something I typically feel and if I wasn’t so connected to my body, I don’t know how long I would have remained unaware of this new condition.  The anxiety, sensitivity and body tension may be symptoms related to this latest Fibromyalgia instance, but I think it is more than that.

When I look around, it seems like I am not alone in this building tension.  

I feel it all around me.  People who have been battling illnesses are losing.  People whose minds are unstable seem to be completely unraveling.  Our society itself feels like it has reached a crux.  Like we are ready to move forward into some new and beautiful place, but an old evil claw is tightening it’s grip and the tension of being pulled by these two realities is ripping us apart.  

This worldwide transformation has been termed the Chrysalis Effect, having to do with cycle of the caterpillar metamorphosing into the butterfly.  On December 21, 2012, when we were all talking about the end of the world, the Sun and planets were aligned in a specific way that put our earth in the perfect position to receive a very special energy.  The vibration created from this unique alignment is only directed to earth once every 25,800 or so years when the Age of Pisces transitions into the Age of Aquarius.  The Mayans believed this energy would help “wake up” the world and evolve our self-serving nature to one of care and consideration for all of mankind and for our shared home - the Earth.  

The Age of Aquarius, like all the others, is about 2,150 years long, and just like the last transition into Pisces, the beginning is rough.  It may even get worse before it begins to get better.   We are beginning to see the truth of all matters, including ourselves.  

We can no longer run and hide.  

All the pains we have been carrying or creating, mental and physical, are rising to the surface and screaming to be noticed, hitting us like a slap in the face so we can no longer avoid them.  We must look at these things that no longer serve us, assess them with honesty before we are finally able to let them go.

I feel the change in my body and my mind. I am trying to be patient and loving to myself during this time.  I believe the pain is temporary so long as I don’t run from it.  

I see it, I acknowledge it.  And someday, when I let it go, I will fly.  

Day 12 of Deepak Chopra's Meditation - Connection Is My Intention

Day 12 

Connecting for balance

Today's Centering Thought: 

I cherish my every connection.

Our Sanskrit mantra:

Tat Tvam Asi 

I see the other in myself and myself in others.

In every exchange throughout my day, no matter the type - it is the positive connection I want more than any typical social exchange required to get me my goods or move me through my day.  

When I take a moment to silently and consciously acknowledge the spirit within my barista before asking for my large decaf Americano, the exchange is so much deeper than a request for my morning coffee from the girl behind the counter.  I wrote the other day about the breath of life and how these types of exchanges happen regularly when I am connected.  I feel such a difference when I consciously connect to the world around me…and the spirits I come in contact with seem to feel a difference too.  

Connection is so important.  It is the disconnect in our world that I believe is the most devastating of all the problems we are faced with today.   How is it okay to poison our planet, or allow the torture of people and animals so we can drive big cars, have closets full of clothes we don't need and garages full of goods we don't use?  How does it make sense that we consume mass amounts of toxic food to our own demise while half the world starves?  How can we have so much when others have so little?   I've been called a hippy for asking these questions, and when I asked myself how anyone could justify these acts it took me a long time to realize the answer is really quite simple - it is all related to a terrible disconnect.   Disconnect from ourselves, each other and nature is keeping us from having a blissful and harmonious existence with each other and our earth. 

 I truly believe that if we are to change our world, this core problem is what needs to be addressed…and wellness is the perfect way in.   

Until people see the value in themselves they cannot really see the value in the life all around them. This is why wellness and self-care practices such as this meditation series are so powerful and important.  They help people to reconnect and realize the sanctity of life.  

Bless you, Deepak, Oprah and all who were involved in this beautiful meditation series. You have enabled a movement that is creating endless ripples of harmony throughout our world.  

Painting by Ellen Vaman
https://www.facebook.com/ellenvaman

Day 11 of Deepak Chopra's Meditation Series - Eating Zen - I Experience The Peach

Day 11 

Today's Centering Thought: 

I choose foods that help me thrive. 

Our Sanskrit mantra:

Om Vardhanam Namah 

I nourish the universe and the universe nourishes me.

My first understanding of zen came from a story about eating.  I was 14 and my aunt and uncle given me a book on zen and mindfulness for Christmas.  I read the first few chapters with some interest but it was the story about the man who mindlessly consumed a peach while chattering away to his friend that captured my attention opened my eyes to the importance and beauty of living mindfully and fully experiencing the present moment.  The concept was so simple...

If I eat a peach lost in thought I cannot fully enjoy the peach…I may not even taste the peach at all.  

I left that chapter with the understanding that my life was like the peach - and if I don't consciously connect to the moment that I will completely miss out on the experience.  

I ate a grape recently when I was really hungry and decided to meditate or "hone in" on the process.  As I was chewing and swallowing I concentrated on the qualities of the fruit - the bitterness of the red skin, the cold and wetness of the sweet insides - feeling and sensing those qualities as far down into my body as I could.  It was pretty amazing.  

The grape was full of life and I felt it nourish me to my very core.  

I tried the same with a "healthy" cracker. It felt dead in comparison.  Ayurveda claims that the life (prana) in foods is as important (if not more) than the measure of nutrients it contains. I feel eons more vibrant when I eat fresh live foods than if I eat crackers, cereals and canned goods - no matter how many vitamins and "whole grain goodness" they claim to be enriched with.  My whole being feels depleted when I partake in a diet of mostly processed foods...even organic, GMO free foods are unhealthy and depleting if they are designed to have a long shelf life.

In the meditation today, Deepak talks about eating around a beautifully set table instead of the TV.  

I think this ritual really helps to cultivate good eating habits.  I tend to chew more slowly and mindfully when eating in a place someone took time to make special, rather than at the end of the kitchen counter or while mindlessly watching the TV.   I love rituals because they really help me to consciously connect to whatever it is I am practicing.  Lighting a candle and praying or setting intentions before my yoga practice makes the entire process more sacred. The approach becomes an offering, rather than an exercise or process. Eating is the same for me.  When I take a moment to consciously connect to my food - really considering what the little bean went through to get to my plate or the fish that gave its life so I could sustain mine - I feel so much more connected to my food and my body. The meal and process feels more special...more meaningful.  

I even feel like food, herbs and supplements become more beneficial to me when I practice this first - like the mere acknowledgement of their purpose prepares my body to receive them better.  I know this sounds a little crazy, but if you think about it, doesn't a prayer before dinnertime seem to do more for US then would for any God or for the food?  

I've become really interested in rituals lately.  They bring me into the present moment.  I'm wondering if that is what they are ultimately designed for.  All religions have rituals before sacred practices.  It makes sense that a person taking part in something sacred must be  completely present, or the practice would be meaningless.  I have recently reconnected with Wicca because of this.  The incantations and potions in a spell book are really just rituals that help connect the practitioner to the innate power within.  I'll be sharing some of these rituals on my blog down the road so if you are interested, stop back or sign up to follow my blog.  

Day 10 of Deepak Chopra's Meditation - I Am One With The Breath of Life - And The Anonymous Flutist at Whole Foods

Day 10 

Today's Centering Thought: 

I am one with the breath of life. 

Our Sanskrit mantra:

So hum 

I am.

The breath of life - I love this expression and use it so often. 

When I am connected to this breath I feel gratitude and peace.  I feel harmony with my surroundings.   I feel the moment and am able to honor it with reverence.  When I am connected, I attract others who are connected.  When I lose this connection I feel scattered, uninspired and… disconnected, for lack of a better word. 

Strangers can feel like family when I am open and connected to the breath of life, and family can feel like strangers when I am not.  

Earlier today, as I was walking up the steps at Whole Foods on South Street, I noticed the man walking a few steps in front of me.  He was very noticeable as he was wearing long flowing pants with a tapestry design and a colorful scarf and hat.  As I reached the 2nd floor landing our eyes exchanged a glance and I greeted him with a smile and a "how do you do."  I noticed he was carrying a large wooden flute and when he flashed me a smile from under his long beard I felt the authenticity of his acknowledgement.  We continued our exit, him up the stairs and me towards the door but as I pulled it open to enter the garage I heard the sound of the man's wooden flute.  The first few notes were so slow and beautiful I couldn't turn away.  I closed the door and leaned against the wall of the stairwell, drinking in the beautiful sounds he created with his simple wooden flute.  His song echoed through the stairwell and I listened with eyes closed, letting the sound wash over my whole body.  He played for quite some time and a few people passed by while making their way towards their cars.  The fact that they didn't seem to notice me in my blissful meditation or the man calling forth the sounds of nature herself made the moment feel even more special….like it was something meant for just us two.  I don't know why he played or if he even knew I was there but afterwards I knew the beautiful moment we shared only came to be because we were open and connected to this breath of life.  He was vulnerable.  He shared his gift without shame.  I saw him and heard him.  I listened with my whole heart - and we were connected.  

Whoever you are, thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart, for your hauntingly beautiful song and a moment I will never forget.

Day 9 of Deepak Chopra's meditation ~ Limiting Visual Distractions ~ Showcase Life - Not Stuff

Day 9

Today's Centering Thought: 

My outer world reflects my inner world. 

Our Sanskrit mantra:

Sat Chit Ananda 

Existence, Consciousness, Bliss

I think a lot about the outer world and how distracting it is to me when when it is cluttered with things.  This isn’t limited to clutter I need to put away.  Obviously the dishes in the sink, the mail on the dining room table, the laundry waiting to be folded - these clutters detract from my inner peace because they are chores that need to be accomplished.  But even further, decorations, nicknacks, mementos from special occasions - even treasures can keep my mind from being at peace.  

When I think of the simplicity of the buddhist temples or other zen focused retreats I cannot help but notice the design is so soothing.  The lines of the space are not frantic with patterns or a zillion colors and decorations.  One or two beautiful aspects of nature is highlighted and the rest of the space fades away.  The simplistic design allows for life to be showcased.   

In my day job as a house manager for a wealthy family here in Philadelphia, I work in a beautiful home filled with many beautiful things.  

The space is kept very neat and organized, but so often I think of how much richer it would be if it wasn’t designed with so many details and filled with so many treasures.  The life going on inside the structure would be so much more apparent and beautifully displayed if the mind wasn’t being overwhelmed by all the visual stimulations in the background.  Even the china, though it is beautiful it does not  display the food (the life) as well as a plate simply decorated.  The ornateness distracts the eye from the vibrant green of the freshly steamed broccoli or the deeply sensuous nature of ripened fruit.    

Even treasures we’ve collected can become distractions.  As an experiment,  I watched my thoughts one day and was amazed at how much my visual intake contributed to my active mind.  

 I sat with my eyes open and let my mind wander.  Unconsciously, I noticed a picture of my girlfriend and I at the beach that hangs near a plant on a shelf.  I have looked at it countless times throughout the years it has hung on my wall.  In the span of maybe five seconds my mind thought, “I wonder how my girlfriend is doing…she didn’t like that picture of herself…but she liked the one on the bottom…I don’t like that one of me…I wish I could return that plant...Charlie is so cute…I need to wash his eyes…my house looks cluttered.” 

The plant was sitting next to the picture which is why that came into my thoughts, and my dog, Charlie, walked in at the moment I was noticing the plant.  That recount doesn’t even factor in the other things my eyes took in during my brain babble— “candle, books, blocks, bird painting, green, the sun is bright on my eyes, carpet fuzz...”   It is difficult to determine exactly, but I believe I noticed those thoughts going on underneath my other thoughts.  Layers and layers of thoughts throughout the entire day cause a ruckus in the mind.  How can we begin to feel peace, or connect to that quiet place inside when we have so much going on in our brains?  

A quote from the Katha Upanishad sums this up beautifully: 

“The senses, say the wise, are the horses; the roads they travel are the mazes of desire….When a man lacks discrimination and his mind is uncontrolled, his senses are unmanageable, like the restive horses of a charioteer.  But when a man has discrimination and his mind is controlled, his senses, like the well-trained horses of a charioteer, lightly obey the rein…The man who has sound understanding for a charioteer and a controlled mind for reins—he it is that reaches the end of his journey.”

I have noticed that out of all the senses, it seems that my eyes that cause the most restlessness in my brain.  Everything I take in visually seems to compute somewhere in my head, causing chatter (book, table, brown, empty glass, backpack) even if I am not allowing it to race on other subjects.   I don’t think I will be selling all of my belongings as of yet, but I am definitely working towards simplifying my home and shedding all the stuff I don’t need.  

Day 8 of Deepak Chopra's meditation - My Life is My Own

Day 8

Today's Centering Thought: 

With awareness, I create healthy habits. 

Our Sanskrit mantra:

Om Kriyam Namah ~ My actions are aligned with cosmic law

I don't have a lot of thoughts related to today's meditation except to say that I truly believe that understanding what my gifts are and seeing how I can use them to best serve a situation, my community, the people in my life and the world, aligns me with my purpose and keeps me on my path. 

I really enjoyed today's meditation, but I'm more caught up in the topic from Day 6 and my new understanding of my knees and body as all my own.  I've been having a lot of similar thoughts related to how my life and my experience here, while shared with other people, is really all my own. 

Tonight I took myself out to dinner.  I'm actually sipping red wine at Amis restaurant and dining on glutinous but delicious house made Swiss chard lasagna as I write this post.  

I sit in silence tasting the subtleties of the delicious dish without needing to make conversation or think about anything but what I want to experience - the tastes, the music, my body, the atmosphere…   I'm realizing how important this is to me and how difficult it is for me to remember to take these moments when I am sharing an experience with other people.  

When I am by myself I feel like I am best able to drink in whatever I am experiencing as my own experience.  I am by no means saying I don't enjoy my time with friends, because I get so much out of sharing experiences with loved ones and actually, now that I think about it, I do take time to have my own experience in the moments I share with other people.  But I do find that when I am alone and completely free from thinking about taking care of the people around me, I am better able to concern myself with me and what I want out of the experience.  I know this sounds a little selfish and people are not asking to be taken care of, but I cannot seem to help it at this point.  Maybe someday I will be stronger and able to stay centered always, but I think I am just starting to understand how important it is to have my own experience in a moment, and I want to really cultivate those moments, even when I am sharing them with another person or people.  

 I think this is one reason I am completely okay with and almost desire a life without a committed relationship.  Since Nick and I ended our engagement, I have found a contentment I have never known.  I loved our relationship, so it is not the ending that makes me appreciate my newfound life.  It is the contentment that comes along with being able to make decisions about what I want to experience without having to consider anyone else, (except for my son, of course) making it possible for me to see and understand what I really want out of an experience. This really helps me to understand me.

I have never formed this relationship with myself.  I have always been in a relationship and all too willing to take care of everyone else before me.  Truth be told, I feel fine and happy and don't care where the night takes us as long as everyone else feels happy.  While that is great and makes things super easy in relationships of all sorts, it  limits me from really understanding what I really want out of an experience.  

The only person I really see myself in relation to right now is my son.  As a mother it is really difficult to separate from that role and see myself as just Joy, not Luke's mom… but as Luke get's older, it get's easier.  And I think I am a better mom when I do not move from a place of being myself in relation to him.  He seems to respond better when I own it - being just me and guiding him instead of being his mother and mothering him.  

On a separate note, I think relationships are  an incredibly powerful way for us to learn about ourselves.  The situation I am relating here is my own and I am not saying my way of exploring is the correct way for anyone but me at this moment.  

I really want to write more about this but the wine from my delicious dinner is making me tired, so this is where I will stop.   

I'll edit this tomorrow…sorry if it is terribly written and a little confusing… ah, red wine.  

Day 7 of Deepak Chopra's Meditation ~ Honoring My Body ~ I Do Not Need Delicious Cookies ~ I Am Happy And Content As I Am

Day 7 

Today's Centering Thought: My body is a magnificent vehicle that connects me to Spirit. 

Our Sanskrit mantra:

Lam, Lam, Lam 

Repeating “Lam” opens the root chakra,

allowing us to feel grounded

It’s become much easier for me to focus on the mantra during my meditation since I had my Ah-ha! moment on Day 5.  Today I remembered that mudras are another body oriented task that help me focus my wandering mind and keep me present.  The philosophy behind how mudras work is so fascinating and one day I will explore this topic with the experts in detail.   

Today I used chin mudra because one of its benefits is improved concentration. If you are interested in incorporating mudras into your day, there are a few yoga mudra apps available for the iphone.  This is the one I have.  Search for YogaMudra in the app store.  I like this app because it gives a full description of what each mudra is used for.

One of the most difficult challenges for me to overcome in my efforts to honor my body is to eat for my body, not for my mind.  

I am fully aware in the moment that my body wants herbal tea, not coffee or doesn’t really want the glass of red wine that will totally compliment the cheese my body also doesn’t want, but half the time I choose the option I know will imbalance me.   

I also find it challenging to quash my nostalgic eating habits.   I know when it’s happening... I walk to the bacon section of the store because this is Saturday morning and a big breakfast with bacon reminds me of family moments as a kid where we all sat and had good times around a big Saturday morning breakfast...the smell of bacon filled the house.   I want popcorn and chocolate whenever I watch a movie because it reminds of movie time with my dad who passed away years ago.  Popcorn and snowcaps was a staple whenever we went to movies.  Luke and I will ride our bikes to get milkshakes for a special treat because that's what our family did when we were kids.  A burger and a beer reminds me of care-free summer fun.  A glass of wine relates to relaxation. 

 Nostalgic eating is not honoring my body.  It is a somewhat insane effort to recreate a moment from the past and usually when I give in, it doesn’t satisfy what I am really craving - the moment itself.  The food is just a detail of the moment and sometimes it is far to easy to get caught up in the details.  

How much healthier we would be if we created nostalgic memories centered around healthy foods.  Our kids would crave carrot sticks or apple slices to reminisce in the memories of family picnics instead of fried chicken and potato chips.  Or we could take food out of the equation altogether so the important facets of those nostalgic moments - the interaction and experience -aren’t clouded by the details. 

Now when I desire foods and other bad-for-me treats I check to see what is pulling me towards the food.  I ask myself, “Does my body really want this or is it my mind?”  99% of the time my body will say no, but if I decide I still want the treat I ask myself, “can my body handle this right now?  Is it worth the imbalance?” And I make my decision from there.  If I have a really hard time dropping the cookies and backing away from the snack cupboard I repeat to myself, “I am happy and content as I am.”  It really helps me during the times I want to stuff salty and/or sweet treats into my mouth by the fistful.  

Day 6 of Deepak Chopra's Meditation ~ A Powerful Shift In My Understanding ~ I Love My Body ~ I Am Perfection

Day 6 

Today's Centering Thought: "I am perfection. I am healthy. I am strong." 

Our Sanskrit mantra:

So hum 

I am.

Last night I had a really powerful shift in my understanding of and relationship with my body.  I was sitting on my floor rubbing my legs from top to bottom and back up again and began to focus my attention on my knees. As I was rubbing my knees it dawned on me that I didn’t even know what they ‘felt’ like. I massage my body a LOT to get the energy flowing and the blood circulating.  Exploring my body is not a random practice for me...it's pretty much the goal and purpose of this blog.  So why had I never, not once thought to take in what I feel like.  I realized then that my massage therapist and lovers long gone probably knew the feel of my body better than I do.  I felt a pang of sadness realizing this but it was immediately washed away by a feeling of love which flooded my whole body.  I wanted to touch my legs and whole body with this new awareness...from the outside in.  Exploring and learning this form, like it was not my own, but at the same time with full realization that this body IS all my own.  I felt so much love and gratitude for my body and for this new understanding.

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Today when I woke up I felt completely relaxed and connected to myself.  I stayed in bed for 30 minutes noticing the energy circulating in my body and how nicely it flowed when I was relaxed.  I cultivated this feeling further by asking all of the cells in my body to soften.  ‘Soften’  became my mantra...and it felt so nice.  

While I was laying in bed I realized the cramping feeling I was having was due to the onset of my period.  For the first time ever I didn’t feel the sudden disappointment that usually comes along with its arrival.  Instead I felt gratitude for my body functioning well.  This was also a huge shift in my relationship with my body.  

A friend of mine had a similar experience recently.  There’s definitely a cosmic shift of some sort happening... maybe these experiences are somehow tied?  If you have had a similar experience of sudden self-love washing over you, please share!  I would love to hear about it!  

From my girlfriend:  I was just giving myself an evening abhyanga and as I looked at the extra weight I've been carrying for the past few years, I noticed myself genuinely thank my body for the extra protection it's been giving me....My body was sweetly touched, and I felt it melt into a relaxation I haven't felt in a long time...a loosening of grip. Giving myself a gold star on my abhyanga today, yeay ;)

This morning when I did the So Hum meditation I was almost  shocked with how relative today’s topic was to all I had been experiencing last night and this morning. 

From the 21 Day Meditation Challenge website: 

Today’s message and meditation center on our bodies, which are perfect in every moment. 

As we learn more about the messages we send our bodies, we also become more aware of how we talk to ourselves. When we have an ache, pain, sickness, or perceived imperfection, it’s important to pay attention to these signals from our body and mind and respond with compassion. In today’s visualization exercise, we’ll take a journey of self-awareness, traveling throughout the body and offering love, acceptance, and gratitude everywhere we go.

Looking back, it was my experience with Fibromyalgia that really helped me to cultivate a patient, loving and compassionate relationship with my body.  Back then I had terrible bouts of pain and would be so frustrated trying to move through my day.  What helped me become compassionate was the understanding that I am not my body.  It may do things I don’t like, or look ways I wish it didn’t but that doesn’t change me.  I am the spirit within.  My body is my just my vehicle.  I want to take good care of it so it can take good care of me and help make my experience here a pleasant one, but even if it isn’t performing well, I can still enjoy my experience.  

So Hum ~ I am 

Day 5 of Deepak Chopra's 21 Day Meditation ~ No Attachment to Outcome - I Flow

Day 5

Sanskrit mantra:

Om Anandham Namah 

My actions are blissfully free from attachment to outcome. 

Centering thought:  I flow in rhythm with my mind and body.

No attachment to outcome ~ I flow.  I feel so connected to this philosophy.  It enables me to connect with my purpose and move from my center.  As soon as I work from a place of "trying to achieve something" my creative flow is blocked.  It is the same with my meditation and yoga practice.  Practicing in order to achieve a positive end result instead of exploring and connecting with my body in each moment greatly limits the benefits of my practice.   I am realizing I get so much out of playfully exploring everything in my world.  Exploring playfully allows for an ease that helps cultivate the detachment to an outcome.  People, places, food, situations, interactions, challenges, my body, my surroundings, my feelings, my personal practice…  I gain so much more out of each moment in my life when playfully explore, and do not hold expectation of what each moment should look or feel like.  

Each day I have been exploring a different way to connect with the daily meditation practice and mantra in the series.  It felt much easier to sit and be with my body and mind united today.  Instead of using the mind occupying exercises from my previous days, I relaxed and cultivated a circulation of good feelings in my body and then reintroduced the mantra. 

And then came my A-Ha! moment.  I've explored so many different ways of meditating and always understood inherently that if I had trouble connecting to a mantra to employ the use of a second, body-oriented task, to keep my mind too busy to wander.  I'm realizing this is exactly what I need to feel balanced in my practice.  One part of my consciousness in my body and one part in my mind.  Duh!  It's the essence of mindfulness and I practice it throughout my day.  I don't know why that thought hasn't dawned on me in relation to my seated meditation before now.    I'm psyched to move forward with this new understanding.  I wonder if my seated meditation will become easier and more rewarding?  Either way - I will continue to playfully explore my practice, liberated from the attachment to the answer of that question.

Day 4 of Deepak Chopra's 21 Day Meditation ~ Ommmmmm ... Yes please

Day 4

Sanskrit mantra: Om

Repeating Om honors our connection to the universe.

Centering thought I trust the wisdom of my body

Om is my favorite mantra.  It resets me when I'm feeling imbalanced.  In my post about Vibration being everything I mentioned how Om is like a tuning fork for the energetic body.  Sometimes when I meditate very deeply and my mind goes very far (something I haven't been able to make happen  during the short and sweet meditations offered here in the 21 day series) I find my body naturally wanting to Om.  This is really difficult to explain, but if you have ever had a psychedelic experience, or have meditated very deeply, you may know what I'm talking about.  There is a sound, kind of like a hum, but more-so like an "Mmmmmmmmmm" that seems to want to come out. It's almost like the body wanting to rid itself of negative vibrations and when we are really connected as we are in these moments, the body moves to care for itself intuitively.  Sound is an incredibly powerful way to bring balance back into the body. 

Today I realized that I connect to the mantra better when I draw out the sound in my head rather than repeat it as quickly as Deepak does.  Whenever I need to clear my head during my day I close my eyes and zone out silently to the sound of "ahhhhhhhhhhhh" in my head.  It quiets my thoughts instantly and almost gives me a funny tickle inside my brain.  

Day 3 of Deepak Chopra's 21 Day Meditation ~ Feeling the Mantra!

Day 3  

Sanskrit mantra: Sham

Repeating "Sham" awakens the third eye chakra, your intuition

Centering thought: My mind and body are in perfect sync.

My mind became so active at the beginning of the meditation tonight.  It was difficult to quiet my thoughts when the meditation started.  I think it's partly because I am so excited to hear Deepak sharing the wisdom of Ayurveda to countless listeners, it jacks me up instead of calming me down.  I've been working towards a way to spread this knowledge on a mass level for several years now because I truly believe Ayurveda is the answer to Americas health woes.   To think of all the people receiving this knowledge…It's just so exciting!  I've decided to do each meditation at least twice, first, because my 14 year old son, Luke, has started participating a day late and I want to do the meditations with him, but also, practicing the meditation twice gives me more opportunity to explore how I can best connect to the exercise.  

Tonight I explored focusing on the feeling of the mantra in my body.  I said the mantra aloud - Sham - and could feel how it resonated through me - the "sh" sound filling my head, the "a" in my throat and chest and the "m" all the the way down into my stomach.  When I repeated the word to myself I focused on that feeling in my body more so than just the word in my head.  This helped me to better connect to the practice and bring my mind and body into perfect sync.  

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Side story:  Luke started the series today beginning on the 2nd meditation because the focus of that specific meditation is balance - something we've been discussing a lot lately.  Luke lost his video game privileges because of the imbalance they have been causing in his life.  He calls this game restriction a punishment.  I tell him it is not a punishment, rather a step to bring balance back into his life.   He agreed to do the 21 day meditation "challenge" and journal about his experience if I gave him back his privileges.   Yes, I'm bribing my son to meditate...I wish I could just force my will upon him, but he's just too much of a young man to not give him some say over what he chooses to participate in.

I wanted to quiet the energy of the house and cultivate a sacred space so I decided an intention setting candle ritual would be a good way to begin our 21 day meditation venture together. I've been exploring Wicca again lately and have been building supplies for my chest of magics ;) so we had all the necessary "ingredients" handy. 

After the whole process and performing the ritual to dress the candle to cleanse it of negative energies we discovered the new beeswax candles didn't even fit in the holders.  Dressing the candle with frankincense oil had helped cultivate a quiet space so rather than seek out another candle option we decided to commence with the meditating. 

We got comfortable on the floor, pushed play on the meditation, and as soon as we got past Oprah's all too noticeable segment I started to hear a loud scratching sound upstairs.  It was really noticeable in the quiet space we created and I didn't want it to disturb Luke so I got up to investigate the unsettling distraction.  I stood on the bed in Luke's room where I heard the sound the strongest.  An animal in the ceiling was digging with all its might to get to the warmth of his bedroom…or maybe he was digging because of the positive vibrations we were cultivating in our household.  It sounded like a big animal because when I knocked the ceiling to inspire his departure he didnt scamper... He took steps... strides even, but he didnt leave.  He continued his frantic digging. I closed the door to Luke's room trying not to worry about whether the poor little/big guy was trapped and whether we would have to listen to his scratches become more and more faint as he weakened from starvation and thirst.  I cleared all the horrid thoughts from my mind, blessed the creature and proceed with the meditation.   The scratching continued the entire time but Luke fell asleep in the first few minutes after I left the room so it didn't detract from his level of peace.

This story really has nothing to do with the 21 day meditation series... but I wanted to share it anyway.  One of the reasons I stopped blogging is because after Exploring Joy came into being I was told by various people that blogging my personal stories would detract from my following.  I felt so stifled by this that I stopped writing.   I don't want to bore any of my readers and if you are one of those reading solely for the info and not my side stories... I hope my randomness doesn't throw you off too much. 

Day 2 of Deepak's 21 Day Perfect Health Series ~ Balance is My True Nature

Day 2 

 Sanskrit mantra:  Yum

Repeating YUM enlivens the heart chakra.

Centering Thought: Balance is my true nature.  

I wanted to do a total body relaxation before settling into tonight's meditation.  I get so much more out of the practice when I take time to relax and 'let go' beforehand.   I cultivated the delicious calm I was working towards then pressed play on today's meditation and just as I was settling in, Oprah's voice chimed in a little too brightly for the space I had created.  I don't mean to sound negative… I think Oprah is amazing and empowered and is using her position to do great things but I would really prefer to just go right into Deepak's soothing vocal style.  He speaks so gently.  The vibrational impact of his voice is extremely soothing...comforting, even.  I've realized over the years that my voice is sometimes harsh and apparently has a certain tonality that can be off-putting.  It seems to come out when I am convicted about what I am relating.  The more I become aware of myself and the vibration I give off, the more important it becomes to me to be soften my energy so I will not disrupt other gentle vibrations around me.  

Moving on.  Since "Yum" is the sound that effects the heart chakra I focused on softening and opening my heart space with every chant of the mantra.  (Perhaps I should open my heartspace to Oprah.)  A close friend of mine told me about a wonderful meditation to help open your heart space.  Picture a lotus flower at the center of your chest.  Upon every inhalation, envision drawing the air in through the petals down to the very base of the flower, deep into your heart space.  In the exhalation, envision all petals of this beautiful flower blossoming open.  I tried it the first time while I was sitting in my car at a stoplight and I was amazed at how it worked.  I felt ripples of energy flowing from the center of my chest outwards, drawing my heartspace open.  That night I realized how much power we have to control even the subtlest of energetic shifts in our body.  

Beautiful painting by Leah Piken Kolidas
visit Blue Tree Gallery to purchase this piece

Vibration is Everything - The Mantras and the Chakras

It's impossible to understand the way mantras work on a physical level with no understanding of quantum physics or the vibrational energy that emits from every living thing.  This sounds tricky to comprehend but really it makes perfect sense when you think about it.  

Bob Marley understood positive vibration and often related the principals in his music.

This understanding is inherent in all of us. It just takes a moment to reconnect with it.

Life is energy.  

We know that when something dies, the energy is no longer present in the being that houses it.  In Ayurveda this energy is known as Prana, in Chinese medicine it is called Chi.  As humans, our energy "vibrates" at a certain frequency determined mostly by our state of mind, body and the connection between the two.  Positive thoughts and emotions send out positive and balancing vibrations in the body, and negative thoughts and emotions send out negative or imbalancing vibrations in the body.  Notice next time you are feeling fear, anger, worry or judgement how it translates in the body.  On the flip side, notice what happens in your body when you feel compassion or deep gratitude.  I find these emotions to be incredibly powerful and healing, so much so that I try to cultivate them consistently throughout my day.  

If all vibrations either create balance or imbalance in the body, then it is important to be able to control and stimulate our own vibration so we can keep ourselves healthy and happy.  Centuries ago the Ayurvedic sages discovered that we have energy centers in our body, called chakras, where our energy vibration meets up, making these points the most powerful areas of vibrational resonance in the body.  The chakras run in a line from the crown of the head to the base of the spine and each has a unique frequency of vibration.

Throughout our lives, these points can become imbalanced in many ways.  I find I am most out of balance when I hold tension in my mind, which immediately leads to tension in my body (and face) keeping my vibrational energy from flowing consistently and evenly.  Over time, if tension is regularly held in certain areas of the body, blockages are created that prevent this life energy from flowing to the areas being blocked.  A small area of blockage in the body will affect the corresponding energy center by creating an unhealthy, ill flowing vibration that doesn't resonate harmoniously in the body.  Furthermore, if steps aren't taken to re-balance that energy center, the ill vibration will travel (as vibration does) and imbalance the other energy centers in the body.  Ayurveda believes this is one of the main causes of disease.    

Luckily there are many ways to remove these blockages.  Physically, massage and yoga help to ease vibrational disruptions caused by tension and stress.  But another powerful way to effect and manipulate vibration is sound. 

  OM is like a tuning fork for the energetic body.  

When chanting this word I can feel its vibration resonate through my very being.  Try it now, if you haven't before.  Feel how you can send the vibration to different areas of your center by deepening your voice or closing your mouth.  The Om sound and vibration power blasts frantic vibes, settling them back into a harmonious rhythm. When I feel scattered or hectic in my body, taking a minute to breathe and 'Om' calms my energy immediately.

On a personal note - each time I visit a reiki practitioner I am told my throat chakra is imbalanced.  I am certain this is from the 2 years I spent in court battling for the custody of my son.  I had so much to say, the truth that needed to come out but I was not allowed to speak except for in brief intervals when I was only able to answer very specific questions that couldn't possibly tell my story.  I remember feeling a knot in my throat during the hours I would have to sit and listen to lies told about me and hear my character degraded again and again.  I knew the judge's opinion about me would determine the fate of my son.  I had so much to say in my defense and I wasn't allowed to speak.  I couldn't let it out.  Ayurveda says your throat chakra becomes imbalanced when you don't speak your truth.  I swallowed countless truths that were burning to come out.  2 years later, after countless reoccurring throat infections, I had to have my tonsils out.  One of the ways I was told to balance my throat chakra was to chant the word hum.  Wish I had known that then.

Because each chakra has a unique frequency of vibration it is possible to stimulate and balance each through different mantras.  I use Patty Ray Avalon's Chakra Tune - Up guided meditation which feels very balancing depending on how present and focused I am during the meditation. Here is a link for some other good suggestions.

In the Perfect Health meditation series, Deepak speaks of an old Vedic verse: "It is our duty to the rest of mankind to be healthy, because we are ripples in the ocean of consciousness, and if we are sick, even a little, we disrupt the cosmic harmony." 

Vibration is a force that cannot be contained by a body made of soft tissue.  

If we consider this concept then we cannot help but acknowledge that the energy we put out effects those around us and that we are all share and contribute to a collective vibration.  

We are all one. 

Deepak's 21 Day Challenge - Day 1 - Re-training my brain.

Day 1 

Sanskrit mantra: Om Bhavam Namah (See bottom of the post for an explanation of mantra and why it is used in meditation.)

Mantra meaning:  I am absolute existence.  I am a field of all possibilities.

Centering Thought: I commit to living perfect health

Day 1 of the meditation was, in essence, the intro and Deepak's invitation for us to commit to the challenge.  To be honest I drank wine earlier in the evening before remembering it was the first day of my 21 day commitment to myself so I had to revisit this meditation the next day.  

We were directed to silently repeat the mantra "Om Bhavam Namah" which means - I am absolute existence.  I am a field of all possibilities" 

This being my first day practicing this type of meditation in awhile I had a really difficult time staying focused on the mantra.  I was wishing Deepak would continue speaking the mantra so I could continue to listen to his enchanting voice because I find it much easier when I am beginning seated meditation to keep focus internally when there is a hypnotic external sound to sync up to.   

Because my mind is out of practice, I found it very helpful to give it a secondary task to focus on so it would stop getting distracted.  In addition to chanting the mantra, I concentrated carefully on the  way my breath felt on the tip of my nose.  I noticed the cool inhale and the warm exhale.  

 I also experimented with focusing my closed eyes at the 3rd eye.  This is supposed to be beneficial because it stimulates the pituitary gland which helps regulate the entire endocrine system and is also supposed to help slow the aging process.  

It takes extra concentration to stay focused on two things at once so the added task really worked to keep my ever-present mind from running amuck.  It was also really challenging.  At the end of the session when Deepak directed us to rest for a moment I was so grateful.  

Sometimes when I concentrate I automatically get tension in my body or face.  I think it's so important to check in with the body during meditations and to release any tension that has set in so the delicious vibes cultivated during the practice can flow throughout the body.  Tomorrow I am going to focus on softness and ease in my practice.

Side note:

Deepak explains why the use of mantras is so powerful and important in our daily meditations.  His resounding voice and explanation will be a far better for you than reading mine so please visit his page and click the video to learn more.  This is a 2 minute video and he sums it up perfectly, so please take a brief moment to watch.  

http://www.chopra.com/ccl-meditation-resources-mantra

 In our daily meditation we are only asked to repeat the mantra to ourselves after listening to Deepak's repeats the word hypnotically several times.  The mantas, or "power words" as Deepak describes them are super-powerful when spoken or chanted as well.  Deepak briefly touched on the chakras or energy centers in the body.  Because sound effects vibration, speaking or chanting these mantras have tremendous impact on the physical body.  Check out this page if you would like to hear more about this concept.

An Exploration of Deepak Chopra's 21 Day Perfect Health Meditation Challenge hosted by Oprah

If you haven't heard already, Deepak Chopra has teamed up with Oprah, challenging Americans to take part in their 21 day Perfect Health meditation series and I couldn't be happier!   Hundreds of thousands of people across the globe are taking part in this 21 day journey, including myself.  This series is based on the principals of Ayurveda and delve into concepts from Deepak's book, Perfect Health.  I read this book a few years ago and loved it, so much so that I sent copies to friends and family as Christmas presents that year.  

The first time I was exposed to the concepts of Ayurveda was during my yoga teacher training program.  The principals of this, most ancient of all medical systems and its simple instructions on how to achieve balance in the body and mind made perfect sense to me.  When I got sick with Fibromyalgia a year later, it was this system of health that cured me.  

The purpose of this blog has been to explore wellness and the connection in our bodies and minds that facilitates well-being, but I focus most of my attention on Ayurveda because I have found this preventative system of health to be the most comprehensive and easy to understand and apply.  The ancient Ayurvedic sages did a lot of exploring and, lucky for us, they have created countless techniques to achieve balance and well-being in the body, mind and spirit.  Yoga is just one of those techniques.  So we have it easy… we just have to be interested and curious enough to playfully explore these inspiring, and extremely beneficial practices.  

I've been journaling my experience with this 21 day meditation series and have decided to share it on my blog.  I would really love to hear what others are experiencing as well.  Lately my mind has been super rajasic (Sanksrit for running wild with creative energy) and I have not been disciplined in my sit down practice.   I do take a lot of breaks in my day to "vibe out" on a specific positive feeling or to consciously counteract negative energies or vibrations I come across (be they internally or externally.)  I also take time to pray, each and every day.  I find these practices to be super healing and beneficial, but they work differently than the type of meditation being offered in the 21 day Perfect Health series, so I am really looking forward to reconnecting to this type of practice.  

There is so much information about Ayurveda that is available today.  I also recommend reading the book Perfect Health because it is an extremely helpful manual for understanding the body and written in a way that applies to the current times.  

If you are taking part in the 21 day meditation series, good luck and blessings for a transformational experience!  

The Flash Mob That Wasn't

In an effort to raise awareness about our Meaning of Life campaign and inspire positivity around our city, the Nationlight Productions team has been holding "Life is Awesome" positivity protests around the city.  We've had a pretty good turn out each time - which basically means the team and a few of our friends show up.  Even though there aren't many of us (yet) we have been getting a great response from most people that come through our rally.

Drivers honk and wave, people walking by offer supportive smiles and ask what we're working on.  Some people join in on the protest, making signs about what they love, flashing them fearlessly, along with the rest of us.  Even the police have been supportive. After park rangers told us to leave Rittenhouse Square a police woman came to our defense saying, "These people aren't demonstrating, they are just trying to make people smile." Then she crossed the street to where my party was situated and with her head bowed and hands in prayer, she offered up a "NAMASTE."  It was pretty awesome.

It was my idea to do a Flash Mob for the last event before the campaign ended.  (FYI, this was not our last positivity event - we will be continuing the protests, so please get in touch if you would like to join!)  I believed that if we worked really hard to spread the event info throughout the entire city and we performed our protest during rush hour at the Art Museum circle, we were sure to get some attention.

But the rain came and the people did not.  

It was me, a borrowed speaker and a sign that said, 

"HONK IF YOU LOVE LIFE." 

When I got there the channel 10 news van was waiting with the camera pointed at the art museum steps... I'm pretty certain it was because I, along with several others, had tipped them off about the possibility of a "flash mob" at 6pm.

I stood by my car in the parking lot for 30 minutes waiting for 6:00 to come.  I knew the rest of the team couldn't make it due to sudden unforeseen circumstances, so if it was to happen, I was going to have to go at it alone.  I waited, unsure if I was actually going to go through with it by myself.  Something kept telling me I had to...it felt hypocritical to promote this cause so loudly and then not follow through.  Plus the rain stopped and the sun came out immediately at 6pm so I took it as a sign that I must go forward.  

I mustered up as much courage as  I could,  grabbed  my speaker and 2 signs and set up atop the fountain.  

For 45 painful minutes I waved my sign and danced to the songs on my Fountain Protest Playlist.

People stared, others gave me the thumbs up sign, one guy asked me on a date.  At one point the cameraman turned his camera from the art museum steps and aimed it directly at me, so, maybe we got some news coverage?  Or maybe a crazy dancing girl with a neon green sign got the coverage... Hard to tell. 

I  was so relieved when the playlist ended and I could be done with my solo act,  I wrapped up and jet back to my car as fast as possible...but when I turned my key to start the engine, it wouldn't turn over.  The battery had somehow died. I headed over to the group of bocce ball players who had watched my shameless display for the past hour and asked if anyone had jumper cables (also torture.)  Someone offered up cables and after a team of us pushed my car to a spot that enabled engine access, we jumped my car, I thanked the crowd and drove immediately to the liquor store to buy my favorite rosé.  

It was painful, but even so, I don't regret it one bit.  It was also extremely empowering. I haven't done anything that bold since high school.  And if I'm asking others to be bold, I must ask the same of myself.  

Dancing solo around the fountain probably won't be happening again any time soon, but I will continue these positivity efforts because I truly believe small acts can make a big impact over time.  If you believe the same then consider for a moment what accomplish if we all work together.

Taken by a random photographer as he strolled by my demonstration.   He found me online after searching "honk if you love life, Philadelphia"  I'm so grateful to have a picture to document the memory.  Thank you Taric El Herrero!

That said, reach out if you would like to be involved!

Check out our video from our first Positivity Protest!

Our World Is Changing - How It Changes Depends On Us

When you look around, do you feel happy with where we are and the world we have created? 

I keep saying (to myself and to anyone who will listen, ) there has got to be a better way. I truly believe that if work together, we could create a beautiful world. The problems we are facing today (environmental, social, political, educational) are all symptoms of a single underlying cause - a disconnect from ourselves, each other and nature. We have lost our connection to humanity and our earth. If we are to see real change, we must address this root problem.

This is exactly what we at Nationlight Productions are attempting. Did I mention I teamed up with this highly ethical and tremendously accomplished production company? I am donating my time to promote their Meaning of Life campaign because their mission, like mine, is to promote world change.

The Meaning of Life campaign is an effort to use mass media to promote positive changes in society and the world.

I am asking for your support with this effort. Your help means so much to me, and it doesn’t take much- just a like or share on facebook and maybe a $1 donation (which you will get back if we don’t reach our campaign goal of $150,000 in the next 25 days.)

I hope that when the situation arises and you look to your friends for support, you will count me as one of them.

If we connect and work together we WILL change the world.

Please help us get the word out by sharing this campaign on your page!

www.indiegogo.com/lifemeanswhat

Take a moment to like this cause on facebook!

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Life-Means-What/479416882072428

Donate $1, or more if you like! Your support means so much.  And if we don't meet our campaign goal of $150,000 in the next 27 days, your donation will be refunded!

www.indiegogo.com/lifemeanswhat

Many thanks and blessings to you and yours!

Joy

A Life Anew!

I feel refreshed and invigorated from the experiences and people I have connected with these past few months.  

I’ve danced with abandon to the sounds of ancient mantras thundering through high powered speakers.

I’ve breathed in unison with roomful of strangers who felt more like old friends, 

I’ve watched nature unfold under a blacklit stage, 

I’ve been cleansed by fire and hailed the moon in a circle of friends who were there for the same.  

I’ve taken my yoga practice off the mat and into the sky.  

I’ve explored fearlessly.  And carried on when fear emerged. 

I’ve connected with so many beautiful people from all walks of life and rediscovered the undeniable fact that we are all one.  

I am so grateful for all of these experiences and for my reconnection to nature humanity.  

This is where I want to live.

This is where I want to remain in every moment.  

I am thankful for this practice.   

Exploring Joy And Nationlight Productions Partner for World Change!

Exploring Joy has teamed up with Nationlight Productions in order to raise funds for the Meaning of Life Campaign!   Is this email not displaying correctly? View it in your browser. Exploring Joy has teamed up with Nationlight Productions in order to raise funds for the Meaning of Life Campaign!   The Meaning of Life campaign is an effort to use mass media to promote positive changes in society and the world.  Nationlight Productions, the organization behind the Meaning of Life campaign, makes positive, uplifting films for mainstream audiences with the goal of transforming society through positive media.  Recent films include "Everything Must Go" starring Will Ferrell, "Café" starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, and "A Buddy Story" starring Elisabeth Moss from "Mad Men. Please view their campaign and help us to spread the word!  www.indiegogo.com/lifemeanswhat   A word from Joy: If you know me personally you know I am passionate about activism.  For as long as I can remember I have been compelled to promote change in systems that aren't working, or worse - doing harm.  From my perspective, the facts surrounding these issues are astounding, but so often the word I spread seemed to fall on deaf ears.   It's been inspiring to connect and work with those who share my urgency to change the current "order," but we must do more than preach to the choir if we expect to change the game.  We must reach new audiences and speak in a manner they will listen.   So, how do we reach people in a country where Hollywood rules?   Television of course!    We must infiltrate pop-culture and expose viewers to concepts of happiness and well-being. Media holds power - we must use it to our advantage.  So often programming is negative, uninspired or a remake of a past version of itself (2 Snow White remakes this month? Really?)   Television shows are designed to divert and distract the viewer, enabling them to get lost in someone else's fake life and problems so they can take focus off of their own.  This is the old paradigm  - we must use television to connect the masses, facilitate a practice of self-exploration and discovery and promote world change.  There are many people working to change the world.  As activists, we must remember that supporting each other's efforts gives greater power to this movement.  We are all on the same team.  I am donating my time to the Nationlight Productions because Marc Erlbaum, (president of Nationlight Productions) is working for world change, and he has asked me for support.  I am now asking you for help  by spreading the word and promoting this cause as freely as you are able.   I hope that when the situation arises and  you look to your friends for this same support, you will count me as one of them. If we connect and work together we will change the world.   Best wishes and many blessings, Joy  Nationlight Productions 200 Bala Ave., Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004 Phone: (610) 999-6381 Fax: (484) 270-8089 merl@nationlightproductions.com www.facebook.com/nationlightproductions www.nationlightproductions.com Exploring Joy Phone: (484) 712-0230 hello@exploringjoy.tv www.facebook.com/exploringjoy www.exploringjoy.tv  follow on Twitter | friend on Facebook | forward to a friend  Copyright © *|CURRENT_YEAR|* *|LIST:COMPANY|*, All rights reserved. *|IFNOT:ARCHIVE_PAGE|* *|LIST:DESCRIPTION|* Our mailing address is: *|HTML:LIST_ADDRESS_HTML|**|END:IF|* *|IF:REWARDS|* *|HTML:REWARDS|* *|END:IF|*  unsubscribe from this list | update subscription preferences